Anyone who attempts anything for God will be criticized. Although untrue criticism is hurtful and discouraging, it goes with the territory of leadership.
Worse than being criticized, however, is developing a critical spirit. We’re called to be discerning (Philippians 1:10) and to prove all things (1 Thessalonians 5:21), and that requires a measure of critical thinking skills. And yet, even that is different than a critical spirit.
A few weeks ago, my wife, Terrie, and I had lunch together after her weekly ladies Bible study. As she shared with me the lesson she had taught on that morning regarding a critical spirit, I asked her to write it as a guest blog post. (She posted it to her blog too, which I recommend you follow if you don’t already.)
So here it is—a guest post by my very favorite person about one of the most needful aspects of the Christian life and Christian leadership—avoiding a critical spirit.
I enjoy cooking, finding recipes, and sharing new meals with my family and guests who visit our home. Because of my love for cooking, I get especially excited when I have the opportunity to visit a restaurant that I have read about or seen advertised. And, if I happen to have the chance to eat at one of these restaurants, I always look to see what the critics have said about the food, décor, and overall dining experience.
Several years ago, my husband and I were in the New York area, and we went to a restaurant that came highly recommended by all food critics who had eaten there. I was eagerly anticipating the meal and couldn’t wait to share this fun experience with my husband. But, much to my disappointment, while our meal wasn’t exactly terrible, it was definitely underwhelming. I left a little disappointed in the restaurant and its critics.
A couple of years later, I was with my husband on the West Coast, and we had the opportunity to visit another restaurant that had been featured in magazines and news clips. Again, I was excited, and I sent a text to one of my daughters, letting her know that we would be able to visit. She replied that she was glad for me, but warned that the critics’ reviews weren’t very good and told me not to get my hopes up.
I tried to prepare my expectations for what was to come as we walked into the restaurant. But, we were pleasantly surprised when the food we ordered was amazing! Every bite was delightful and the entire experience—from décor to dessert—was overwhelmingly positive.
I learned a lesson that day: you can’t always trust the critics. And while it is easy to point out the faulty critics in our lives, sometimes it’s much harder to admit when we have our own critical spirit. And, it’s even harder to acknowledge when our criticism is false and hurtful.
Criticism is a problem in the lives of a lot people, but sadly, it is a struggle among many Christians, as well.
A critical spirit is wrong because it carries with it a sense of pride and superiority (Luke 18:14). Also, it is often a cover up for my own heart issues (Jeremiah 17:9).
The following are a few truths I’ve learned (and am doing my best to implement!), as I’ve studied the consequences and the cure for criticism in our lives:
- Criticism hinders my relationship with others.
A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.—Proverbs 15:1
- Criticism hurts others.
And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother’s eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye? Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye? Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother’s eye.—Matthew 7:3–5
- Criticism hurts me.
When pride cometh, then cometh shame: but with the lowly is wisdom.—Proverbs 11: 2
- Criticism hinders my relationship with God.
If I regard iniquity in my heart, the Lord will not hear me:—Psalm 66:18
- Criticism stops God’s blessing in my life.
He that covereth his sins shall not prosper: but whoso confesseth and forsaketh them shall have mercy.—Proverbs 28:13
Those consequences are eye opening! A critical spirit hurts every relationship in my life, including my relationship with God. So, how can I address it and change for God’s glory?
- Search my heart.
Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.—Psalm 139:23–24
- Confess my sin.
He that covereth his sins shall not prosper: but whoso confesseth and forsaketh them shall have mercy.—Proverbs 28:13
- Change my thinking.
Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus:—Philippians 2:5
While food restaurant critics get a pass when they are wrong, you and I will give an account to God for our critical spirit. So, let’s admit when we’ve been wrong, ask God for forgiveness, and then determine to have the mind of Christ—a mind of humility and deference.
